Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The Olympian is in my bed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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