Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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