omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
