theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
