Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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