I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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