that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
