fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
