He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
