he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
