ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize