She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
