Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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