Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
