There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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