Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
soo... how was my night?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
