I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
