he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
