We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
