You're completely useless in the revolution.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
