Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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