using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
