Me. At least after what I've been through.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's rum buckets o'clock
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
