Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
