Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
