we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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