I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
