didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
