So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
