Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
