the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
