found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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