Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
