I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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