i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
