God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
be right there i have to get my cape
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
