dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize