He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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