I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
