he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
