That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
