I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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