No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
