Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
