I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
