How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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