i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
