Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
