just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize