are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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