The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
