I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
