I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
