Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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