I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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