; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
