it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
