Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
