actually, I'm a sock model
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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