We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
