I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
