I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
