I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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