I just gift wrapped bread.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
