Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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