I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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