i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
