You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
