i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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