don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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