you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
