i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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