i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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